The Big, Scary World

ALBUM TITLE: The Big, Scary World
ALBUM RELEASE DATE: 3/7/15

“Land? Land is a ship too big for me, it’s a woman too beautiful, it’s a voyage too long, perfume too strong.”

“Take piano: keys begin, keys end. You know there are 88 of them. Nobody can tell you any different. They are not infinite. You’re infinite… And on those keys, the music that you can make… is infinite. I like that. That I can live by.”

“You rolled out in front of me a keyboard of millions of keys, millions and billions of keys that never end. And that’s the truth Max, that they never end. That keyboard is infinite… and if that keyboard is infinite, then on that keyboard there is no music you can play. You’re sitting on the wrong bench… That is God’s piano.”

“Christ, did you… did you see the streets, just the streets? There were thousands of them! Then how you do it down there, how do you choose just one… one woman, one house, one landscape to look at, one way to die…?”

– From the movie “1900”

PART 1: Dashing Offstage in an Unprofessional Manner (An Album)
PART 2: The Commodore – Part 2 (A Short Story)

PART 1: Dashing Offstage in an Unprofessional Manner (An Album)
SONG LIST
1. Down By the Sea
2. Live in a Shack
3. No Scent of Drama
4. Purge the Words That Burn

DOWN BY THE SEA

You wake up at 6:28
You have to be to work by 8
You take a shower and you get dressed
Hop the bus and it takes you west
All the commuters got their headphones on
The tired look of passion long gone
Check into your cubicle at 8:03
Another dull day spent living the dream

You thought you’d be
Down by the sea
Livin’ it up, livin’ up
Hey there’s you and hey there’s me
Livin’ it up, livin’ up
But hey, you’re not quite there today

You’ll hit the condo around 7
And watch the box until 11
Hopefully you get some lovin’
Don’t pass out with a pizza in the oven
Then the sadness comes creeping in
In the dark bedroom at 2am
Picture on the nightstand when you were 18
You said you’d be brash like that till you achieved the dream

You thought you’d be
Down by the sea
Livin’ it up, livin’ up
Hey there’s you and hey there’s me
Livin’ it up, livin’ up
But hey, you’re not quite there today
You’ve got the VIP pass
At the middle class bash
You all get together and tear it up on the weekend
But sometimes life seems to have no meaning
And there’s nothing important to do
Your life spins out of control
Bartender, how about another brew?
Sometime you think that you’ve failed
Sometimes fairytales pull you through
You’ve got no place else to fall
So here you are

You thought you’d be
Down by the sea
Livin’ it up, livin’ up
Hey there’s you and hey there’s me
Livin’ it up, livin’ up
But hey, you’re not quite there today

Maybe at a party by the sea
When the light hits you just right
When you’ve got the right haircut and the right suit
All the ones that did you wrong
All the people that scorned you
You’ll have champagne together
So you just dance, get drunk, and screw
But until that day
There’s a lot of shitty work to do

Maybe someday you’ll be
Down by the sea
Livin’ it up, livin’ it up
You might never be down by the sea
(Time to do some livin’)
So what are you gonna do today?
(Time to do some livin’)
You might never be living down by the sea but you still have to face the day
That’s all you’ve got, in the end, anyway

LIVE IN A SHACK

Live in a shack
Like Prine
Drink whiskey
At suppertime

Watch the flies
Buzz around the kitchen
Capture my hopes
My wishin’

Live in a shack
Take my freedom back

Some go to country clubs
And tennis clubs
And PTA’s

I was a star in little league, right?
We can’t get that back tonight
Maybe we can

NO SCENT OF DRAMA

His life had gone by
Without a scent of drama
No tears as someone
Was about to die

No big breakups
No big fights
No big killing
No climactic dying scene

With classical music
“I knew it was you”
As it all goes to hell
No, that was the stuff for movies

PURGE THE WORDS THAT BURN

Could you put a number on it?
All the letters I wrote to you
Most of them to say I’m sorry
And tell you my point of view

Oh, I’m talking to myself again
The words, they died in my mouth
Cuz the letters were never sent
I didn’t say why, I just got out

I am selfish, I am cruel
Sometimes I leave people behind
I am turning over the guilt
I held you back so many times

The train is going off the tracks
I think if we walk through the woods
Let the sunlight hit you and heal you
We’ll skip away from all our fears
That took up so many years
Now I’ll purge the words that burn

This is the time I didn’t dance
This is the time I didn’t get a second chance
This is the time I walked away
When I had so much left to say
This is the time I cried tears of joy
Inside this man there is a boy
This is the trip I didn’t take
This is the decision I didn’t make
This is the path I didn’t choose
This is the apology I couldn’t use
This is the girl I didn’t kiss
This is the train I narrowly missed
This is the sorrow deep, as the sea
This is the stuff inside of me
This is the time we won’t get back
These are the years we spent on the track
Now that it’s out, can you feel it, too?
Can you feel it, too, I just want you to feel it, too
I don’t I can make you feel it, too
That might be impossible to do
This is what I’ve got to do

I guess we’re like those birds
Moving without knowing
We have a sense of direction
But we’re not sure where we’re going

PART 2: THE COMMODORE – PART 2 (A Short Story)

The baleful clouds that came from the north, hanging lazily above the highest tree branches, grew a dark grey as the time went on, as though they were sad about the fact that night was coming to a close.

Slowly the sun sank behind the trees, changing in what seemed like moments from a bright white to a soft red, as though it was feeding off of the hellish hues in the faces of the men nearby.

The peace that the water exuded as the breezes blew over the warm water were heightened by the wind.

The new sun, like a lamp, would burst brightly over the water. But now another day had receded and this river was somehow the hub. The river had gained dignity with its life. All of these hangers on at the banks had used the river for utmost utility. Our eyes went to the water. Somehow rather than sensing the moment, we instead looked back on fond memories, of a place far from here.

Something about this ancient river allowed those of us who had a love of it to see how it connected us to our past and to our humanity’s past.

On the boat, the Commodore spoke.

“Be sure to understand,” he said this time, wiping the dirt off of his book with a wet finger, while the other hand pointed back at us, posing as though in some strange yoga contortion to line up the chakras. “The way we get anywhere in life is through productivity. These guys did not know what they were doing in coming to this foreign land. They came and plundered, using muscle and not brains. Not a sense of productivity but instead with a sense of pillaging. There is a darkness out there. They just went like animals and took what they wanted.”

No one was taken aback by this statement.